Postpartum Thriving

We talked about the transition into parenthood or for some, the transition to expanding your family and welcoming another baby. Birthing a baby involves a range of emotions, perspectives, feelings and experiences that transform our hearts and ask us to expand in many ways. Moving from being autonomous to having to care for another full time, gratitude for the gift of motherhood, the physical changes and the healing involved - surrendering into your body, the vulnerability of loving another this deeply and the illumination of some of your best traits like patience. 

We also spoke about the integration of our many selves and how to make space for our own needs. The postpartum brain has completely shifted and your limbic system is enlarged so your emotional system is taking control of most of your thinking. That can be a huge shift for some folks and it can be soothing and comforting to spend a few moments dipping into other activities like journaling, podcasts, music, connecting with others or yoga/stretching in search of a bit of balance. Postpartum brain is explained here: 

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/01/what-happens-to-a-womans-brain-when-she-becomes-a-mother/384179/

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/pregnancy-causes-lasting-changes-in-a-womans-brain/

 Recommendations: 

• Eat nourishing, easy to digest foods often to provide you with energy and keep cortisol levels balances. Warm foods tend to be best for the first 6 weeks.

• Anxiety and irrational thoughts can sometimes take over usually due to lack of sleep and hormonal fluctuations: Rescue Remedy or herbs, reach out and call someone who can help, take a breath, take a shower and try your best to relax. If you cannot calm your thoughts on your own - please consider professional support. 

• Breastfeeding safe herbs to consider to ease anxiety: Lavender, Chamomile, Linden, Passionflower, Mother Wort, Licorice, Lemon Balm ( NO Sage or Mint)

• Flower Essences, Essential Oils and Homeopathy can also be helpful

• The Milk Moon, Herb Lore and Remedy Garden have a few tonics that can be really helpful

• Rest, movement and stretching can help you recover and heal. We offer postpartum pelvic floor and core classes at The Nest as well as at Align Studios

• Pelvic Floor Rehab is essential. Find a PT specializing in pelvic floor to support you after birth regardless of what type of birth. Pain and prolapse are not meant to be sustained.

• Insomnia - can be complicated. First helping your baby sleep, then relaxing and letting go of anxiety or a very stimulated nervous system to also sleep can take time and become a viscous cycle. Without sleep, everything can be harder. Be sure your partner or your team are stepping in to also support baby to sleep and consider some of the anxiety steps above and/or call a professional for support.

• Do what feels good and safe to you - this might be your first time learning to find your parenting values and listening to your own parenting compass. It takes time to find your voice and there can be loads of pressures from loving friends and all of the 'shoulds' you hear. An important re-frame here is to remember that your baby does look to you for emotional regulation so there is something to be said for making choices that support you to feel confident and calm, letting go of the 'shoulds'.

• Emotions happen. It's quite common to feel more in tune with emotions, to be more empathetic and/or easily moved. Notice with curiosity and consider ways to support yourself or again, reach out for help if it's too overwhelming. 

• Have realistic expectations. Sometimes not having any expectations can be a lifesaver and instead let your curiosity lead you through early parenthood. Drop your agenda sometimes in favor of joy! Make yourself a list of the things that bring you joy and post it where you can see it each day to remind yourself to seek it out, even 10 minutes can make a positive impact. 

• Mindfulness practices can also help you with intention and joy. 

• We touched on using radical acceptance as a really helpful tool for parenthood. When things aren't going as planned, it can be useful to let go of the outcome and our hopes for perfection and accept our story (our baby, our child, our partner, our reaction) with radical acceptance. Witness and move through it without resistance. There are a lot of resources out there for this applying this tool and/or mindfulness

Congratulations again! I hope our conversations inspire you to honor yourselves for the big leap you've made into (or further into) motherhood. It can take time for you to find your new stride. Have patience. Give yourself space and grace and most importantly fierce self compassion as you find your way!