Fierce Self Compassion: activating your Mama Bear Fierceness to protect yourself!

We've been exploring Kristen Neff's work on having fierce self compassion and applying it to motherhood.

Practicing this level of self compassion means to offer yourself the same amount of protection that you would your child. It means talking to yourself with as much love as you do your child and loving yourself just as much.

You may find that it's necessary to sit with these invitations for a while first, practice often and offer yourself the opportunity for a re-do for more compassionate self talk. The internal wiring for judgment, self criticism and external praise goes so deep for many women.  

Here are the points we've been sharing: 

• Self Protection: to keep us safe from all harm including judgement. Does this look different in motherhood? How does it feel to find your voice and your identity in motherhood and stand tall even when you're speaking with your family or your friends who don't share your values? 

• Providing for our needs: We've talked a lot about first figuring out what our needs are as mothers then determining how to go about meeting those needs met, asking for help and making it happen.

• Motivating change: Changing circumstances, behaviors or mindset because you care for yourself deeply. 

• Boundaries: What new boundaries are needed to protect your mental and emotional well being as a mother?

• Acceptance: We've spoken often about radical acceptance and how important it can be to stand in love with yourself and your choices (or make different ones). 

  • And her work also talks about not over identifying with a label and allowing yourself to simply be you, letting go of the label of a certain type of parent or any of the personifications that you've attached to the label. There's such freedom waiting for you here. 

I LOVE this invitation shared in the resources I found: BE FEROCIOUS ABOUT RESISTING SHAME AND GUILT FOR CARING FOR YOURSELF AND ASKING FOR HELP. We can shout that one out everyday!

Resources: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/mdQeielN_KA There's a great breakdown here: https://centerformsc.org/self-compassion-empowers-new-mothers/ 

A conversation with Tara Brach: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvouDH1wvKA

And Kristen Neff's site with more info and her book: https://self-compassion.org/fierce-self-compassion/