Supporting Play
- Katie DaMota
- Jul 21
- 3 min read
Developmentally we can expect two and three year olds to focus for about 5-10 minutes. Some little ones can play happily and independently for up to 30 minutes however it’s expected that they will want you to be nearby so it may be helpful to keep that in mind. In the past, we've talked about the benefits of uninterrupted play when we explored Yes Zones and essentially what we're talking about now is an extension and will continue to be an extension throughout childhood as they begin to lengthen their ability for focus.
The facilitation you provide in these early years will lay a foundation for the years to follow meaning that your investment now will pay off as they gain more confidence and ability to play independently - notes that it can be a slow process for some kiddos and you may find that smaller steps toward independence are key.
We talked about play invitations for this age group including sensory play, facilitating and expanding upon their interests, more 'work', loose parts and open ended play along with imaginary play. Becca from Il Bambino explains a bit about setting up play invitations:
“Set up an activity they can do on their own (sensory bin, looking at books, doll play, etc). Start the play with them. Be sure to stay present (avoid looking at a phone or wandering off to the mental checklist). Once it appears they are hooked into the play, switch to observation mode—less talking (naming shapes, colors, counting, etc., for them) and more letting them get into their concentration zone.”
At this stage of development, you may find it a little easier now to lean into supporting play. Janet Lansbury, an educator and proponent of the RIE parenting method shares, “learning to be a play ‘supporter’ rather than playmate takes practice, entails sensitive observation, open-mindedness, acceptance and, most of all, restraint (especially for those more inclined to do than watch). But once we get this down, it is an incredibly relaxing, satisfying, Zen-like experience.”
Fostering skills for independence can look like:
Encouraging them to try to find a solution on their own before you step in when they ask for help
Offer a solution for them to try on their own before stepping in
Before offering to find what they're looking for, see if they can find it on their own. Make it a game - "I wonder if you can find it first?"
Statements like "I can't wait to see what you decide to do." OR "I wonder how you'll make it work." are supportive invitations.
Offering them the scaffolding to take the next steps, staying nearby for support and noticing their success are small, connected steps toward independence.
We explored the benefits of interest-based play. As a parent, I'm always really relieved to hear of a new interest because it means there will be new explorations, new books, new conversations and new play invitations/opportunities. Some interests may not excite you as much as others but it's ideal to lean in with unconditional support and know that in most cases, interests will shift and change. Interest-led play often leads to the longest stretches of independent play. It's when the deepest learning can happen as well - it turns out we learn best when we're interested in something.
The play theme in our conversation this week was tractors and trucks. There are limitless opportunities to lean into interests including providing a range of environments like moving from dirt to mud to rocks to water. Trucks are so versatile that they're also great in sensory bins like dried corn, lentils or rice. Imaginary play when toys talk or stories develop is so fun to witness. Themed conversations or phrases can be used in all aspects of your day including 'filling your tank' at the table or with hugs. Stories and short video clips can all include your child's favorite interest making your library adventures or daily outings focused. The current theme in your child's world can also help them explore big topics or emotions with story or by accompanying them through transitions.
Additional resources:
I'm not suggesting all play needs to be independent of course! There is so much value in playful parenting and engaging when children invite us in.
Comments