TODDLER AT THE TABLE
- Katie DaMota
- Jul 21
- 5 min read
Some babies are happy to sit at the table peacefully and eat with no end in sight while other parents find it hard to keep babies at the table. As always, there are a variety of perspectives. You can either keep very clear expectations with simple mantras like "your bottom stays in the seat at the table" or you can opt for the other direction which is to choose your battles carefully and meet them where they're at: consider getting on the floor for a picnic, offer smaller tables and chairs so they're eating at their height, or let them graze. Create a play space near your table so they can be near you while you finish your (hot) meal and they can also be happy.
If you're being met with new resistance - you may consider providing more opportunities for choice throughout your child's day. Ways we can do that at the table: consider shifting to a seat at the table like this one (it's pretty expensive new but there are other styles and used options), learning towers when they can stand so they can be at the counter (some kids eat there as well), booster seats for a chair, or a kids table and chair that they can get into on their own. They also enjoy participating in making foods, growing foods and choosing foods at the store. Kids tend to be messy and we can help them develop positive relationships with food and eating when we also provide an appropriate, safe environment for them to freely explore trusting them to know their bodies. They may begin to show more preferences with certain foods and that would be expected. They're likely looking for carbs and fats and possibly less interested in vegetables and some proteins. Keep offering a variety without pressure but also lean into their joy within reason.
They will experiment with dropping and throwing foods or spitting food out. Your response can guide them to learning what to do with food they don't want or different ways to tell you they're finished. I recommended the 'No Thank You bowl' - a container they can drop the food into so it doesn't get wasted on the floor. You simply ask if they don't want the food and show them that they can drop it into the container and not the floor. Often they just want to get the foods they don't want away from their plate/tray. This will help with most of the reasons why they're dropping food - they're still learning how to communicate needs and preferences. Also, it is fun to throw food and with little impulse control, it's pretty likely to happen with little ones.
Body Positive Parenting: Your comments and framing around food makes a lasting impression so it's a good idea to be mindful of how you're talking about their eating habits, their bodies and food in general. Using intention early on will give you loads of time to practice. Provide the information about what bodies need: clean air, sunshine, water and food. Help them notice how it feels to eat well and be nourished vs when they're hungry. Phrases to consider "It sounds like your tank is empty, let's have a snack and try again." "If your body isn't asking for that, you don't have to eat it." "I wonder how fast you can run after enjoying your breakfast this morning?" Be careful of bringing in fear or guilt when it comes to food. There are no 'bad' foods, only different foods. Some that we eat minimally and some we enjoy all of the time - talk about the 'why' around sugar but don't ban it completely. Be careful to leave fear out of your conversations around sugar or other less than ideal snacks. Pleasure, ritual and joy are wrapped up into eating and we want to honor all of those aspects as well. "Hot dogs happen" is my phrase for the 80/20 rule, especially when it comes to food. Helping your child establish an intuitive, positive, healthy relationship with their diet is a priceless gift!
I recommend offering food to little kids every 2 hours or so because they get hungry, they don't often eat enough every time and it keeps everyone energized and happy. Although there is also something to letting them get hungry. Hungry kids are the best eaters!
Breastfeeding and bottles count also. Little ones may depend on milk and enjoy sucking for quite a few years - trust them to know while also offering foods in between so that they get enough calories throughout the day.
Here are some food suggestions based on their age/development:
Baby brain foods:
DHA fat!!: avocados, Cod Liver Oil, mama’s milk, whole (raw for those who are drinking raw) milk, egg yolks, grass fed butter/ghee, coconut oil, pastured meats, olive oil, sustainably-caught fish, flax seeds, walnuts, nut butters, bone broths.
IRON (food based): egg yolks, pastured beef (liver too), pastured chicken, fish, beans, green leafy vegetables, blackstrap molasses, properly prepared whole wheat grains, raisins, oatmeal, lentils, bone broths.
Zinc Full fat yogurt, pastured cheese, pastured chicken, cashews and cashew butter, almonds and almond butter, peas, raw whole milk, lentils, beans, pastured beef, bone broths.
Protein: Pastured meats, sustainably-caught fish/seafood, beans, lentils, pastured cheese, raw milk, pastured eggs, whole fat yogurt, nuts and seeds, nut butters, properly prepared grains, bone broth.
Vitamin A: Cooked greens, cooked broccoli, peas, peaches, mango, papayas, cantaloupe, apricots, squash, carrots, pastured cheese, pastured eggs, cod liver oil, homemade oatmeal, raw milk, bone broths, pastured butter/ghee.
Vitamin D: Salmon, tuna, sardines, liver, raw milk, whole milk yogurt, egg yolk, pastured egg yolks, pastured butter/ghee.
They really need energy so don't skimp on the carbs - try complex carbs like: avocado, blueberries (and other berries), sweet potato, seeds, high quality pasta, dairy, whole grains and peas
Sneaky Nutrients: If your child is showing preferences for foods and you'd like them to eat a more varied diet, try these sneaky foods. Sauces can help: add in veggies like squash or spinach then add broth or even lentils then mix with your preferred pasta or dip with cooked veggies or even meatballs. Smoothies are also sneaky: dairy and veggies but also nut butter, hemp hearts, flax seed and any supplements or additional vitamins you're giving. ‘Desserts’ like pudding can be a place to add more seeds and dairy or muffins and breads are a place to add seeds, fruits, nuts and carbs where you can reduce sugars and have a built in combination to balance blood sugar. We've been making gelatin snacks together since my son was a toddler. Here's a list of quite a few recipes: https://www.mamanatural.com/gelatin-recipes-roundup/ We started with Wellness Mama years ago. I imagine there are countless recipes out there today. It's important to choose a good, clean source of gelatin (there are options at The Briar Patch) and I'd use maple syrup rather than honey for the littler ones. Although the flu busting gummies are great and the added honey can be helpful for a sore throat for kids over 1.
More Resources:
I hope that helps you on your feeding journey!! Just a reminder to be careful not to get so overwhelmed with all of the suggestions. Keep it realistic, positive and nourishing in the way that works for your family! You have loads of road ahead to work on expanding their palate, eating in community, manners and such. For now, it's really about cultivating positive eating experiences.
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